Update

I've been to look around the new house this morning, it was quite stressful doing it to be honest. Everything was just empty which got me quite annoyed because I was told the wardrobes and stuff would be in the bedrooms. I know that sounds like I'm being a spoilt brat but I'm genuinely not. It scared me because I associate empty rooms and spaces with instability because change and upheaval really scares me. 

I found out what that letter I had from my psychiatrist and ED nurse was for. It is my review meeting where medication and things will be discussed, my treatment will be reviewed with regards to if I need to be admitted to hospital etc. I won't be being admitted though I hope, I've gained weight since I was last weighed and as I haven't seen anybody since I was last weighed surely that must work in my favour. 

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow to review the results of my scans again and to see where to go from there. A referral to gynaecology and a laparoscopy procedure is what I am hoping for. My doctor is really understanding and helpful though, I have regular meetings with him and I really appreciate how he has kept time to see me despite cutting his hours down so much due to retirement. He is fantastic, bless him. "Good old Dr P!" is what I always say when coming out of speaking with him! 

I haven't posted much on evenings for the last few days because I've been really tired and falling asleep ridiculously early and then when I've woke up it's been 3-4am and I haven't been able to get back to sleep. I've tried staying awake but I literally just can't stop myself from falling asleep early! At least I'm sleeping though I guess. It bugs me because professionals have said to me I need to get "better sleep hygiene" and "stop listening to obsessive thoughts and just sleep" like it's actually that easy!! Please excuse me whilst I grab the remote that syncs with my brain and just press the "power off" button. Haha, I could do with one of those sometimes actually! Couldn't we all?! 

I feel like I'm writing an absolute essay now, infact I've just been asked if I'm writing an essay because of the speed I am writing it all. My pain management has improved (for now) to the point where I can actually get out of bed and move around more. Going to look around the new house today was the first time I have been out in a couple of weeks to somewhere and actually stood around. That's probably why I fell asleep for two hours when I got back! It just exhausts me.

Anyway, essay over. I'll do another update this evening! :) 

Keeley. xx