Diary 6th Sept - Oh Dear

Oh dear indeed! That's the last time I ever take Micronor. I've always been quite sensitive to medication (except painkillers, always the flipping way) and one of the side effects of Micronor is depression. I thought I would give them a go regardless because I was in such a good place and as I have mentioned before I no longer show enough signs/symptoms to be classified under the DSM-IV as having Depression. Well, I'm pretty sure if I'd have had a psychiatric assessment today they'd have soon plastered me with that diagnosis again! 

Micronor is a hormonal contraceptive pill that works by blocking some of your hormones to prevent ovulation. I wasn't taking it for contraceptive purposes, they were prescribed for me purely because of the mess that my ovaries are in. So now I'm really sad, on top of the tablets making me really sad and down it suddenly dawned on me that there isn't much else that we can try before "whipping my ovaries out" because nothing else has worked. So I guess we'll find out after my scan next Thursday (12th September) IF there is anything else that can be done. Otherwise it's hasta la vista to my ovaries and all chances of having my own child. Although, if I'm completely honest, because of the state that my ovaries are in it makes intercourse EXTREMELY painful. I'm assuming it would anyway because all of the internal examinations and transvaginal probes for the Ultrasound Scans have resulted in me absolutely screaming with agony. Sorry to be graphic there! And when I was in a sexual relationship at a younger age it was painful then too. Oh the joys!

Anyway, regarding my mood - I'm starting to pick up a little again now. I just hope that they leave my system as fast as it took them to enter. I refuse to let myself be in that dark place again, the last couple of days when the hormonal tablets have kicked in properly have definitely reminded me of how terrible my darkest days were and how glad I am to be free of them. This is just a blip purely because of the medication, I seriously cannot WAIT to get them out of my system lol! Then I'll be fine and fighting and happy again. Well in all fairness I'm still relatively ok, just tearful and sensitive. 

Soooooo this is getting to be a rather long post so I'll stop there. I'm going to make sure tomorrow is a better day than today and I get back on track with food etc. There is always hope and every second of the day is a chance to turn things around.

Quote of the day is again, a picture! :) 

Keeley. xx