It was rammed in there so I’m going back tomorrow. I’m really dreading tomorrow anyway though, I’m being weighed by a CPN that I don’t know.
Tomorrow it’ll be 1 week until the 3 year anniversary of being raped.
It suddenly dawned on me that this will be the first year since it has happened that I won’t be in hospital! So it’ll be strange, but considering that thought hadn't even crossed my mind before I’m sure I am going to manage it fine.
I've just been thinking of some things that I could put in place to keep me distracted and occupied.
Although if I’m honest, it doesn't affect me half the way it used to! I no longer have flashbacks and haven’t self harmed since January and I have no intention of doing either of those things and letting them win once more!,
My past has taken so much of my life from me already and I’m so determined to make a proper go of things this time.
This year I won’t be in hospital, I will manage without being self destructive and I WILL BE OKAY.
It does get easier, it’s not really even making my stomach turn when I think about it being almost 3 years. It’s just a date, it’s nothing but a date it doesn't mean anything.
We should learn to look back on positive memories/dates, not those that have torn us apart each day since the incident(s).
This year I fully intend to look back on how much strength I have gained since the last anniversary of it.
How much I have moved on and how much more at peace I am with myself now than I was back then.
It IS possible!
Quote for the day
“Your past is just a story, and once you realize this - It has no power over you.”
Keeley xx
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